NaBloPoMo November 2016

Monday, May 25, 2015

Ungiving Up

I guess this is a restart.
I am still not sure what form this blog will take, and I am not sure I care. It will be a place for me to remember my past, hope for the future, and bemoan the present. At least for now.
Originally it was going to be a vague diary to get thoughts organized without details for prying eyes.

I was hiding. Hurting. Lost.

-Not so much anymore. So many changes are taking place; have taken place.
On facebook I have started speaking my mind, as I have here at home. It has not been harmonious overall, but I have not been confronted or attacked as I had feared.

I am starting to believe that I have worth and a future and that my needs are just as impotant as anyone else's. That may sound silly to any who have not lived the life I have, or are in the situations I find myself in.

I allowed myself and what I wanted to be written-off. I allowed depression and anxiety and people with control over my life to make all the decisions unquestioningly. It led to despair. Then one catastrophe after another bombarded me. I almost disappeared completely.

I am coming back now. My mind is functioning and I have returned to my search of purpose and happiness.

Where does it go from here?

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